Dead Daisys

So, (deep breath) Yesterday was my first visit to Stephen's resting place. This was very difficult for me to do, but I felt like I needed to go. I left work at four o'clock and drove straight there. When I got there, I pulled to the back of the parking lot until I reached the gravel road in the rear of the church that leads to the resting area. It was blocked off by a wooden fence, it appeared to be just a temporary fence. I saw signs that littered the fence for yards and yards down the parking lot that read "Rent a Fence."

There were three workers left at what appeared to be some sort of new construstion, or new addition to the church. They were all sitting on the back of a white pick up truck. There was one taking off his sweaty shirt and the other two were trying to kick the mud of there boots before getting in.

I cried the whole way there, and I didn't want to be approached by anyone, but I was determined to go back to the rest area no matter if I had to jump over, or crawl under a hundred fences in the mud. I didn't care! So, I got out of the car and started making my way towards the wooden fence. I heard one of the workers yell out "Mam its really muddy..." I didn't care. I didn't look back at him, I just ignored him and kept going. I crawled under the wooden fence and as I pulled one leg under and into the cake like mud, my foot sank to the bottom. The mud colored my shoes and jeans brown up to my knees. I didn't care......I just kept walking. When I arrived to the back where all the resting places where I saw it......his own. I opened the gate leading in, and walked towards his spot. I won't go into detail about what it looked like because I feel like that might exploit him in some way. I didn't pay much attention to that anyways. What I did notice was all the floral arrangements were circled around his grave. I immediately fell to my knees at the foot of his grave. At first all I could do was stare......I just kneeled there......staring.......at all the dead daisys. I prayed! I got up pacing back and forth crying....talking....praying....this went on for an hour. The wind blew so hard, but I stayed......the clouds grew dark.....but I stayed........the rain came down.....and I stayed.

After, I was finished........I turned to look back as I was walking out the gate. I looked back at the rain hitting the dirt, and the dirt rolling down the hill.......and said goodbye....goodbye to all the daisys.