Portland, Maine...

So, In two more days I am leaving for New York. I am also very excited about touring New England! I am excited about Boston....but I think I am mostly excited about seeing Portland, Maine. That is where Josh and I are going to be staying at.... and I must say...it looks so incredibly beautiful!

I would love to retire in Maine...... it definanteley looks like my type of plac

I am so excited...... there are so many places I want to see...China, Spain, England, Ireland,e where I could see myself living. France, Italy, Rome.......so many more.

Next year Leandro and I are going to try and make it over to Spain...or take a tour of Europe. I wish traveling didn't cost so much LOL

In New York....where dreams are made of...

So my trip is in 3 days!!!! I am so excited!!!! This is pretty much what Josh and I have decided...

Tues-> I fly in and we plan to spend the night around town on Long Island

Wed-> Manhattan and Coney Island in Brooklyn!!

Thurs-> Manhattan, lunch, teas, rice pudding, and watching Mosque fights lol

Fri-> headed to New England driving all night to Portland, Maine (lobster in Maine and staying in Portland)

Sat-> Experiencing all of New England, and driving back to Long Island

Sun-> The beach at Montauk in search for another Montauk Monster LOL and back to JFK for 8:30 to catch my flight back to LA

I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You were always on my mind....

You were always on my mind...... even though this is a song about romantic love.... there is somethings in this song that make me think of Stephen. It makes me cry when I hear it.... wishing he was still here so I could tell him whats on my mind........ I guess today is just one of those days..... I haven't had a bad one in a long time.... but today is hard. I just can't stop thinking about how much I love and miss him! It still hurts so bad at times.....

I feel blessed with every dream I have of him...where we are laughing and smiling, but waking up is the hardest part. I wake so sad.... wanting to cry.....I just want to hug him so tight and tell him that I love him so much!!!

I wish he was still here! I know it's OK to be sad sometimes...... and it's OK to miss him..... I just hate days like this.......it hurts my heart!

So....... I thought I would write a letter to him..... to get it out.

Stephen,

I can hardly describe how much I miss you! Sometimes I feel so weak....... I am taking your advice and enjoying life...I just wish you were here to share it with us. I am going to New York in about 8 days and I can't help but think that you were so excited for the next time we visited New York you were supposed to be by our sides.

I miss you begging me to cook you "anything but fish" and coffee together..... nagging me to go to TCBY.... sharing music.....our talks....when you said you loved me.....and hugged me.... I miss you Stephen! I miss you really bad! I wish you were here with me..... I think about you expressions the mostly....and you smiles.... I miss those the most.

Things are really going well for us....... I just wish you were here to see it! I left a Yohoo at your grave site...I hope that doesn't count as littering.... I bought two one for me and left one for you....just like old times...

I like to think Leandro and I got the best of you during your short time here...... I am so grateful for that, and I cherish those memories and moments. I guess I just wanted to say....you are always on my mind...... and I love you so very much!! I will bring you back something from New York and leave it at your resting place.....I know it's not the same but it's the best I can do..... I love you! I miss you!

Love Always,

Erin

New York New York!!!!!!!!!

Start spreading the news........

New York!!!!!!!!! Here I come again!!!! I am going to New York again in two weeks!!!!!! I fly out Tues August 31st at 9:50 AM on a non stop flight via Jet Blue and will be arriving in New York at 1:45 PM! from there I will take the air train from JFK airport to Ronkonkomo where Josh will be picking me up! :)

I am so excited!!!! I will be there for five days!!!! Leandro will be in Destin on his guys trip with his Dad and all of his brothers. So it will just be me and Josh... I will miss him but at least Josh and I will have some one on one time. It's going to be a blast!!!

While we are there Josh thought it would be fun to drive up to Boston for a night and then head to Maine to wine country and kayaking in the Hudson!

So on this trip I will be able to see New York again, Boston, Maine, Rhode Island, Vermont, and Connecticut! :)

It's so weird how things work out sometimes! LOL

When I get back then I will have my surgery and then Josh will be back here for a week long visit Sept. 25th.

This will be my first time flying by myself and it's only my 4th time ever flying. I am not worried! I am more excited about it than anything! I am going to take LOTS of pictures!!! I am going to try and post some blogs while I'm there too! This will be my first time flying Jet Blue which I heard is one of the best airlines to fly. Last time Leandro and I flew American Airlines and I was not impressed to say the least lol

In the mean time I guess I need to try and get everything ready here at home for when I have my surgery since I will be out of commission for about a week.

Wish me luck!!!! (Blows big kiss)

:)

I've got the world on a string.........

I thought this song was quite appropriate for how I am feeling right now. I am having surgery in about a month.....and I may even have a job interview before the end of the week or the beginning of next week!!

One of the locators I used to work with called me today and told me about a possible job as a recruiter for ITT Tech Institute. I really hope I get it because it's double what I made at UtiliQuest and if I decide to attend school there it will be almost free!!! :)

What better news..... Even if I don't get it I guess it just wasn't meant to be, but overall I am pretty excited! Either way.... I'm still happy!! The first thing that came to mind when he called was "Awwww and just when I thought they all forgot about me" The second thing I thought was "Uh Oh that Steven's school nemesis! LOL"

From what I can gather ITI despises ITT lol, but hell I didn't go there so it doesn't bother me any! LOL

I'm doing it for me.........Cha Cha Changes!! VSG!

Well.....I started this blog about my new low-carb lifestyle..... and before that it was "eating clean." I finally got fed up with failed diets and the stress and heart ache of being overweight, PCOS symptoms, infertility, and overall discomfort.

So what did I do.......... I sought a medical professional. I went to my seminar with Dr. Bellanger yesterday and there is where I learned about vertical sleeve gastrectomy or GSV, and how it opens a window of hope for women like me who have PCOS. The symptoms of PCOS after surgery eventually disappear...... this was all I needed to hear!!! My heart sank into my chest as I started to cry in the doctor's office. For so long I didn't feel like a real woman because of PCOS. It makes me feel ugly and unwanted, even though I know my husband loves me and wants me. It's not about him....... I feel like the PCOS prevents me from being the woman that I know I am.

All the symptoms of PCOS:

Obesity

Infertility

Irregular periods or heavy periods

Unwanted facial hair

This surgery fixes ALL OF IT except for the facial hair thing but I got rid of that issue a while ago...with my fancy smancy waxing kit LOL

I am so excited!!! My life will never be the same! I will never be fat again, or have to worry about missed periods and take Metformin every single day of my life just to keep the symptoms at bay!!!! This surgery will be the greatest gift I ever give myself!!! I am crying write now writing this! A chance to be normal....... :)

The surgery takes approx. 50 minutes and is done by Laparoscopy. Here is a short video showing how the procedure is done:

Yes, they will be removing a portion of my stomach........ it seems intense but it's OK. I was a little freaked out at first but I am OK now. This was definitely a decision that I made on my own for myself. I am choosing this, and I am happy for me :)

So please be my friend..... and give me your support through this :)

Love you!!

Good Riddance!!!!

Baby you can drive my car.....Baby you can have my car....it's a POS! LOL

Well, I started writing this blog a few days ago so I thought I would go ahead and finish it now.

Leandro and I finally sold that POS Honda Civic. The irony is that is that we sold it back to the same crooks we bought it from in the first place. Karma is a bitch for sure....LOL

But seriously...... this is what I mean by Good Riddance!

So many things have changed in my life in the past few months! I got laid off from my job, we sold the car, I am finally having that surgery I need, we got rid of the truck, I taught my cats to "shake," I wrote a children's book, and from what I gather UtiliQuest will be closing it's offices in Louisiana effective November 1st. It seems so strange to me how things turn out sometimes.

I am glad I got laid off from UtiliQuest. I enjoyed working there so much and have memories that will been in my mind and in my heart forever, but in the end I am glad it happened. I am finally making time for myself and snapping out of the same monotonous routine and concentrating more on myself and my dreams. Overall....... I feel really happy! I feel happier now then I have been in a long time and I am having "the time of my life!" I plan to live every day not as my last....but as my first...reinventing and discovering myself all over again.

So it was a good run........but good riddance UtiliQuest.....time to welcome a new time :)