So, we have only been at Leandro's grandmother's house for 5 days. I am definitely not enjoying myself. I knew it wouldn't last, but I didn't think it would end this quickly either. I am at my Mom's house right now typing this.
She isn't kicking us out or anything. I just don't see this working out. I went to the doctor last week and found out that I have a UTI and a kidney infection. My feet are swollen really bad and overall I just feel like crap. The doctor told me to stay in bed all weekend and see my urologist Monday to make sure my kidney is doing OK.
I knew right away I would have to leave her house because she made the comment "you have your work cut out for you this weekend." She knows I am sick, I guess she doesn't care. My feet are so fat I can't even get them into my shoes, and they hurt so bad. I am not trying to have a pity party for myself, but I know how she is and I knew I wouldn't be able to relax if I stayed there. Leandro has to work this whole weekend, so he wouldn't even be there to help me.
Yesterday, I went and got my hair done. The girl who did my hair got me an ottoman to put my feet on, which was nice. It took her five hours to do my hair. After I left there, I went to my daddy's house to visit and catch up with him. As soon as I got there I sat in his recliner as he talked to me for a few hours. When I left my Dad's I went to my grandparent's house and sat some more in her recliner LOL. I talked to them until 11:00 pm, then I left to go back to Buita's. When I pulled up Leandro was outside with Jacob and Matt. He was wasted. I haven't seen him that drunk in a long time. I didn't really care, after all he doesn't make a habit of it and it was the weekend.
I went inside and fixed me a glass of wine from the bottle I had brought from out vacation. I stayed awake visiting with all those drunk boys until 2 AM. I went to go to bed and Logan was in there passed out drunk on our bed. Matt and Jacob were staying the night too so there wasn't really anywhere for me to sleep, so I decided to go to my mom's house, and here I am. I wasn't mad or anything. I don't like it over there so it was fine by me. Leandro was wasted so I just kissed him bye and said I would be at mom's.
I snuck in here at 2 AM. I slept on her couch. My sister woke up at 3 AM and saw I was there and brought me a blanket and a pillow which was really sweet of her =) Overall, I am glad to be here with my mom. I can't stay over there. Matt told me how she complained to him all day yesterday about me being gone. I am 26 and have been on my own since I was 18. I can't deal with her turning me into her little work slave. I am moving from there. I wish Leandro would talk to me. I haven't hardly even seen him in the five days we have been there. He is either gone with his brother's or cousin's somewhere or at work. I feel like I am alone over there for the most part. Leandro does help clean and stuff, he helps out tremendously in that dept. but I still feel alone. I am miserable. I am going to look for an apt. in Baton Rouge somewhere. Somewhere were I can have my cats! I have been trying to get Leandro alone to tell him these feelings but he is always around people.
I just got off the phone with him. He is at work. I asked him if he was going to Sunday dinner at his parent's house and he said yes. I asked his to skip so me and him could have diner and talk about some things and he said he didn't want to. Wow, that makes me feel worse. So, what am I supposed to do now? I thought this move I was making was a stepping stone to get a house, but now I just feel like an ultimate loser. Married and homeless at 26........wow. How depressing. Leandro told me to tell him if I thought living at Buita's was taking a toll on our marriage and we would move or whatever. I think its starting to but I can't get him alone for five minutes to talk about it. I wanted to talk about it last night and he said no because he was drunk. I know he had to be at work for 9 AM this morning and after he was really wasted he kept on drinking. At that point I asked him to stop and he ignored my request.
I am at a lost......................I have no idea what to do now............ Maybe if I get an apartment Leandro will come with me? I hope?!? He seems so distant from me. Even though its only been a few days I haven't felt this separated from him since we were in high school. Last night it's like I had a flashback.......getting in the car at 2 AM "by I love you, hopefully I will get to see you tomorrow sometime." I hate this =(
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