I am so tired! I haven't slept hardly at all since Stephen's accident. I am so tense and on edge all the time. I feel like I am hurting the people I love at times. I hate the way I am feeling. I feel so angry! I feel so very tired and stressed out. I feel like I can't relax. I know that I should be excited about our vacation coming up but I'm just not. It seems like more of a hassle or a chore than a getaway.
We have so many things to do. I have to find a mini storage and start packing this weekend. Leandro wants us moved out by the end of this month. That is super stressful! Also in the mean time I am trying talk to mortgage brokers and realtors to find us a house. Leandro and our land lord have been arguing back and forth too. I am so very tired! I feel like if I could just get some good rest. Just one nights uninterrupted sleep...............with a clear head then I might be OK.
The picture that I chose for this blog I picked because it reminds me of myself when I was a little girl. I lived on a dead end street and me, Josh, and Nikki would sometimes just lay in the street....talking about the universe....... I feel so beat down, and I feel so ugly. I have these huge circles under my eyes that are getting harder and harder to cover. I just feel like if I could just rest.......just for a min. I might regain some sanity.
yes u DO need rest!!! u need some sleeping meds!! they have these things at whole foods called melatonin they help! or some stronger stuff. I hadn't slept for probably what is it been 3 weeks today like 2 and 1/2 weeks of course 2 hours there 2 here and i got some "help" and its still hard but i do feel better. can you believe 3 weeks it feels like yesterday, i dont know what that means but it really does, ive lost track of time!
ReplyDeleteBUT.... Harry Potter tomorrow!!!! how stoked would steve be to know me u and leandro and fam r going to see it together!! thats what ive been trying to think of even though it gets very dark at times!! i can't wait to see you tomorrow night!!!!
AND i know i've already probably said it but you should be a writer, your words come across so beautifully even though they r filled with pain. I wish i could do that. Make words describe my feelings even a tiny bit
ReplyDeletesorry one more, i know what u mean by feeling ugly i feel like or know since this happened i do. we need to go get manicures or something!! pampering always helpe me.
ReplyDelete