I guess since Stephen's passing I just feel so disappointed in everyone....and everything. I am trying so hard to keep the "crazy" at bay if you know what I mean. I am trying not to over react, or push people away. I know its wrong, but sometimes I fantasize about leaving everything and every one.
Just leaving and not coming back.....not looking back...I don't know why I feel this way. I feel so separated and detached from everyone and everything. I hate this! What makes it worse is that after I catch myself thinking this I immediately feel selfish, guilty, greedy, and ugly. Whats going on with me???? Am I mad?
no u r not mad! i feel the same way and i have frickin kids so how bad do i feel, but as long as u don't act on it, it's fine, and you won't. and if u do need to get away by yourself for a few days, do it but not forever. i hope u don't mind i comment so much i just really really relate.
ReplyDeleteand you know what not going into details but i have felt that way before not like this but i had told stephen and he said what i just told you, of course this was 2002 but still applies i think. so remember that.
ReplyDeleteit's normal, erin. I still feel that way somethimes when I think about Josh. Like if i just run away from life everything will be better, everything will be right. but i know it won't, and deep down you do too. it never goes away, but it gets easier with time! i love you!
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