Sequence of Events.....

So, there has been a sequence of events that has led me all the way back to my first instinct. After Stephen passed, my first instinct was to go and talk to Brother Wess. I don't know why..... I was raised Catholic, and I am now Agnostic........so what business do I have with Brother Wess? Why would I immediately have this over-whelming desire to want to speak with him? I don't even know him! He probably doesn't even know who I am!
Well, maybe its coincidence........or maybe Stephen wants me to see him. I don't know but this is how it happened.

Leandro was supposed to get me a Iphone for my birthday on July 22nd but never did.......I really really wanted one, but never seemed to have the money. Then one night I had a great night with Leandro's grandmother in the kitchen drinking wine and cooking and the thought popped into my head to take her out to play BINGO because no one ever takes her anywhere. I took her to BINGO on a rainy night and won $250, which I never win anything. I was so excited, because I won just the amount of money needed for the new Iphone.

Then, I went to meet the director of the Hyatt and thought I would have to use my "winnings" to pay for Katy's shower, which I was prepared to do if necessary. The Director "Al" was extremely nice and said that I could just pay in full on the day of the event. He said this without me even asking. I couldn't believe it!!! I headed to Whole Foods and casually took my time shopping, then I went across the way to ATT. I have a friend that works there named Kenny, but I wasn't sure if he would be working or not. I was so excited about the new phone I didn't even care. I walked in and noticed he was there. That made me smile, but I felt some what embarrassed too because I know I looked so terrible. I have gained a good bit of weight since Stephen's passing and I don't even think I had on make-up. He was there, but with a customer. I caught him right as he was about to leave. He stayed to help me because that's the kind of guy he is. He was extremely nice and helpful, and even though I could tell he was in a tremendous hurry he stayed and didn't make me feel rushed. He leaned over and said in a whisper "How are you doing?" I don't know why but I almost broke down crying. I was in such an excited mood about my new phone and then all the sudden I was nearly in tears. I was so embarrassed!!!

Later, I wrote him a message on facebook telling him thank you for staying to help me. I almost missed him. He was just about to leave. Here is the messages we exchanged on facebook:

Erin Gutierrez September 21 at 10:43am
Kenny, I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to help me with my new phone. I know I made you late for something, sorry about that. I was trying not to cry, you probably noticed I was having a rough time talking about everything. I am having a pretty difficult time..... I think I should probably seek professional help pretty soon. I hate to admit I need help, its just I never went through anything quite like this and I am not sure how to deal with it. I thought the funeral would give me some closure, but it just hasn't. Everyday day its there....haunting my thoughts.....Leandro seems to be doing OK....I wouldn't say good but he is OK. I don't know....I just wanted to say thank you for your help, and for your concern. It's nice that someone cares.Lots of Love, Erin =)

Kenny September 22 at 9:14am
You didn't make me late. I was glad to see you. You need to deal with all this soon. If you recognize you need help then you really do. You should consider, I think, going to talk to Pastor Wes. He was Stephen's pastor and mine and without his counsel jami and I wouldn't have made it. He doesn't charge he just cares. You can call the church and make an appointment. I can give you the number. There won't be any pressure to start going to church there or anything. Trust me here. Don't keep going through all this without getting help. It can effect every other part of your life.
Sent via Facebook Mobile

Erin Gutierrez September 22 at 10:05am
My first instinct was to talk to him because I know how much respect Stephen had for him, but I was too scared to. I still am.....but I might go anyway. Thank you again!

Kenny September 22 at 10:47am
Call and talk to Melissa his wife. 664-4027. No reason to be scared. I'm serious. Do it. Now I'm pressuring you. Sorry
Sent via Facebook Mobile

Erin Gutierrez September 22 at 11:09am
LOL it's OK....what am I supposed to tell her?

Kenny September 22 at 11:59am
Just tell her you want to schedule an appointment. If she asks what for tell her counseling and tell her you were friends with Stephen.
Sent via Facebook Mobile

Erin Gutierrez September 22 at 12:09pm
OK I think I will...thank you

Kenny September 22 at 8:29pm
Did you call?
Sent via Facebook Mobile

Erin Gutierrez September 23 at 7:43am
No yet...I am going to do it today!

So......there it is. The story of how I ended up back where I first started. I don't know if its coincidence or Stephen guiding me back to the pastor he loved and respected so very much. I know that Brother Wess was like a father to Stephen and that Brother Wess helped Stephen through many things. May this is what I am supposed to be doing...... I am going to give it a try. I will call today at lunch..Wish me luck!