Mother's Day......

Ahhh Mother's Day......celebrating motherhood and motherly bonding all over. Not to sound crabby......but this has to be my least favorite holiday! I know that sounds so terrible and selfish but it's true. I can't stand Mother's Day! Hopefully, one day that will change.

I have no children......and my mother and I don't exactly have the most wonderful relationship. I thought since our last conversation where we had that heart to heart things would be different this coming Mother's Day. However, nothing has changed. That phone call where we had that heart to heart, that was the last time we spoke. She has not called me since. :(

It just sucks........I hate Mother's Day. I have been avoiding leaving the house or even getting on facebook. I know that's stupid but two things that truly bother me is that I don't have any children and I wish so very badly that my mother had more to do with me.

I hate it when I walk in to a store and some kind person says "Happy Mother's Day mam" I always smile and say thank you, but by each person saying that it hurts a little inside. Also, I was going to go and see my mom today, but I am too upset. I text her, because I know if she answers my call and I hear her voice it will make me cry and I don't want to ruin her day. I am sure Katy is either there or will be later.......

When my mother and I had that talk she kept saying "I don't want you to think I am neglecting you and Leandro because Katy and Tim have a baby and you don't." I never even thought that but she kept saying it over and over and that sort of made me feel like she felt guilty because it is some what true....... I told Leandro about it and he said "that's exactly why." :(

I never even thought of that. I wish I could have a baby so bad. It's not easy for me....... nothing ever is, but I am sure everyone feels that way about everything. Dr. Andreaus says there is hope for me to get pregnant! I just have to take that medicine he gave me......... and hope!!

I promise if I ever get to be blessed with my own little one I will always be close to them and love them and want to be in their life always. Even if I am thirty before I ever get to have one.... I don't care...... I just hope is all........ I hope so much!!

Well, since I am not really celebrating anything today I might as well and head to work. I told CJ I didn't mind working......

I don't think anyone reads my blogs but if you are reading this and your a mom....... Happy Mother's Day!