You were always on my mind....

You were always on my mind...... even though this is a song about romantic love.... there is somethings in this song that make me think of Stephen. It makes me cry when I hear it.... wishing he was still here so I could tell him whats on my mind........ I guess today is just one of those days..... I haven't had a bad one in a long time.... but today is hard. I just can't stop thinking about how much I love and miss him! It still hurts so bad at times.....

I feel blessed with every dream I have of him...where we are laughing and smiling, but waking up is the hardest part. I wake so sad.... wanting to cry.....I just want to hug him so tight and tell him that I love him so much!!!

I wish he was still here! I know it's OK to be sad sometimes...... and it's OK to miss him..... I just hate days like this.......it hurts my heart!

So....... I thought I would write a letter to him..... to get it out.

Stephen,

I can hardly describe how much I miss you! Sometimes I feel so weak....... I am taking your advice and enjoying life...I just wish you were here to share it with us. I am going to New York in about 8 days and I can't help but think that you were so excited for the next time we visited New York you were supposed to be by our sides.

I miss you begging me to cook you "anything but fish" and coffee together..... nagging me to go to TCBY.... sharing music.....our talks....when you said you loved me.....and hugged me.... I miss you Stephen! I miss you really bad! I wish you were here with me..... I think about you expressions the mostly....and you smiles.... I miss those the most.

Things are really going well for us....... I just wish you were here to see it! I left a Yohoo at your grave site...I hope that doesn't count as littering.... I bought two one for me and left one for you....just like old times...

I like to think Leandro and I got the best of you during your short time here...... I am so grateful for that, and I cherish those memories and moments. I guess I just wanted to say....you are always on my mind...... and I love you so very much!! I will bring you back something from New York and leave it at your resting place.....I know it's not the same but it's the best I can do..... I love you! I miss you!

Love Always,

Erin