Fueding Friends From the Middle Child's Perspective......

Pictured above.......April, me and Ashlie LOL!!!

Man oh Man oh Man oh Man!!!!!! WHEW!!!! LOL! Today has been something! Let me give you all the guts of this story........



OK this story first starts off a while ago when the three of us decided to have a girl's night out. We went to Chili's in Denham and then we were heading to a bar called Rick and Robin's (I kept calling it Rock in Robins...he he he he he .) Well, to keep this long event a bit on the short side I will sum this part up.....here's the gist of it.....Ashlie didn't like Rick and Robin's and wanted to bale to do something else with Jeremy and Breanna and left...yadda yadda yadda.....which was un-cool and she knew it when she did it! Needless to say, April and I had a great time together that night and I feel like Ashlie missed out. However, not to long after that night had come and gone, Ashlie felt bad for leaving, as I feel she should have and texted me and April and apologized. I instantly forgave her, because she has been my friend for years and is like family to me. Maybe I am too easy to forgive....... perhaps I'm not, I don't know but that's what I did right or wrong.
Well, this really hurt April a lot, and understandably so. Ashlie apologized to April as far as I know and April said she is OK but she isn't. She is going through a lot right now poor darlin! Perhaps she told Ashlie she is OK to avoid a confrontation..... or because she didn't feel like dealing with it.....or maybe she thought she was OK at the time when Ashlie asked.....who knows? Well, this was pretty much just left to hang out to dry when it was all over.

So....in the mean time ...................

This past Tuesday Ashlie bought pizza kits for the kids (Kaden, Jack and Korah.) As far as I know Ashlie invited April and Korah as did I. April declined. I believe this was an attempt on Ashlie's part to reach out to make an effort to show April how she can be a better friend to her.
April and Korah had stopped by the house Tuesday afternoon before Ash and Jack got there. I tried to get her to stay but she wanted to go home. She said she was tired which I can definitely relate to. Before her and Korah left April wanted to make plans for the kids to play together on Thursday at McDonald's. I said yes!!!
Ash and Jack then got there and we had a blast. Before Ashlie left.... she asked me what I was doing on Thursday, because she knows I keep Kaden on Tues., Thurs., and Sundays. I had told her about the plans April and I had made and she asked me if I minded if her and Jack tagged along. I said of course not but she might want to check with April first because it was her idea. She said OK and she was on her way..........

Today, Ashlie text April with no response about McDonalds. Ashlie's feelings were hurt, I am sure, because she is really trying hard to make an effort to be a better friend not only to April but I think to me as well. I feel like everyone deserves more than one chance, but I think April is still hurt from the last time, and can't deal with anything new right now because she is depressed and going through a lot. I understand that! I sent April an email telling her how excited I was to see her and Korah at McDonald's and she cancelled on me. Ashlie text me to tell me that April didn't respond to her text and I told her that April had cancelled, so she asked if it would be OK for her and Jack to go in April's place. I said yes.
Later, at lunch April and Ash were texting back and forth and April called me crying saying how Ashlie told her that she hurt my feelings. Well, the truth is yes.......she did. She hurt my feelings about Korah's cake. You can read the blog about that if you need to know how and why. This is nothing that April didn't already know. I told that to April the day of Korah's party. It is upsetting, but I am over it. I told her that. I simply told her "April you are my friend and that is over with." and that is exactly what I mean. nothing more. nothing less.

So, this is what I think. My perspective. ......... Ashlie or April if you happen to read this........here are my feelings.......


To Ashlie:
Ashlie,
I love you! Let me start off by saying that. That night you left was shitty. It was a shitty thing to do and the timing was even more shittier....LOL But, I think you know that already. I take you apology to me to be extremely sincere and as far as I am concerned.... water under the bridge! I have not a grudge against you nor will I bring it up again to your attention I believe it to be over.
Also, I have noticed you try to be a better friend and reaching out. I know I'm am not perfect but please know that you efforts are not meaningless and never go unnoticed! I love you, and I want you in my life always!!!


Love,
Erin


To April:
April,
I love you! Let me start off by saying that. I hurt so much for you right now, because I know your hurting. I hate that your hurting, it breaks my heart! I know how you feel....all you want to do is work...go home...be left alone. Trust me!!!!! I KNOW!
However, I think right now more than anything you need friends.......and you need family! I think Ashlie is trying to show you that she can be a good friend to you if you be honest with her and tell her how you feel. Tell her what you need from her! Let her know! I am not angry with you, or her. I love you both and I want you to be happy. I know it's hard......and Korah's party was so happy yet so sad and difficult for you and for Chad. I am always here for you in times where you need a friend or just want to be left alone, I will understand....this I promise to you.

Love,
Erin


Whether the two of you choose to "work it out" or not is up to you...this is just my thoughts and my perspective! I love you both!

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes.......

A dream is a wish you heart makes......... I love this saying! This just makes me smile so big when I think of this. Lately, I have been thinking of Disney World and all it's wonder. I have never visited it, and neither has Leandro. I am not sure what got me started on this but I just keep thinking about it over and over. I would love so much to go.
When I was a little girl I would think about it a lot. I remember Shelly and Jamie went a few times. I spent the night at Shelly's house and she was showing me her "character autograph book." She was like "this was Chip and Dale and this was Sleeping Beauty....etc" I was like WOW there really signed it! LOL
I am about to be twenty-seven, and I have been thinking about how I would like to visit it. I never really cared about going until recently and I don't even know why. No one at work has been talking about it or making plans to go. I just for no reason what so ever woke up one day and felt like I was missing out on something special.
Maybe it's a result of "*Mardi Gras Syndrome." Who knows....... I have thought of it everyday for a while now. I have been reading all about it too. It sounds like so much fun! I read all about their hidden Mickeys all over the park. I guess I never really read about it before or ever thought of a possibility of ever going, so I never checked into it.
When I was small my Mom and Dad made Disney World sound so awesome (they went there on their honeymoon.) I don't know how much it was but in my head I always thought of Disney World costing like thousands and thousands of dollars. As a kid I thought it was like the cost of a house or something. I just looked it up the other day and was amazed at how affordable it really is...LOL that just goes to show you how poor we were at one time! LOL
I think Leandro feels the same way about Disney World, that he will never be able to go.... I am going to do what I can to try and plan a trip for us!


*Mardi Gras Syndrome- Mardi Gras Syndrome is a made up term made up by Erin Gutierrez as a term that summarizes the effects of being neglected or forbidden to attend, participate or celebrate a certain event, festival, or place. example....Mardi Gras festival, parades, etc.
As a result of non participation in events a block is developed and as a person gets older they forget about the events, festival, or activities and all desires to attend or participate in any events is lost or gone.

A Mother Daughter Heart to Heart......

This picture was taken at my Bridal Shower at Lake House Reception Center in Baton Rouge. The is the most recent picture of the three of us together. I remember how beautiful my mother looked that day and how she was so excited and had this "glow" about her. I remember her telling me she picked that blouse because she thought it matched the colors I choose for the wedding pretty well! She was right. It looked very close to the color I picked and it look beautiful on her.
I miss that day! It's weird because that day was my one and only bridal shower. It was "my day." There was a cake for me, and gifts...... and friends and family.......and a beautiful building.....but the thing about that day I remember the most and always comes to mind when I think of my shower is my mom. I think about how excited she was when I met her in the parking lot. She was glowing......so excited! Then when we were inside it's like she wanted to "hog me" and talk to me the whole time and not let anyone else have a turn. I remember her hugging me and kissing me and us walking around the whole building and her holding my hand.....she was so excited and looked so happy.
I wish we had more days like that. Last night my we talked on the phone and had a heart to heart, something we haven't had or done in a while. I cried the whole time. I feel so far away from her. She only lives ten minutes away but if feels like a million miles. She apologized for neglecting me. She said she knows she is guilty of it..... she said she was sorry for making me cry, and she never tried to hurt me.
The thing is, I know she never tried to hurt me.........I act like it doesn't really bother me that she never calls.....or that I never see her, but it does. I see my mother in law all the time, sometimes I even see her more than twice a week. I love my mother in law!! I love it that she loves to do crafts like me, and shop, and cook. She is awesome and I feel like I can go to her with anything! However, sometimes I start to miss my mom. When I think about all the things that my mother in law and I do together.......just a piece of me wishes I did some of those things with my mother.........I miss my mom. I miss her sweet voice and her smiling face, and her gentle voice.
Last night she said she was going to make more of an effort............I wish she would because I miss her!!!! I miss my mom...... and I miss the day that picture was taken. I will never forget the way her hands looked when she was holding mine and her sweet sweet smile.

Man what a Jerk!!!

So my boss is an complete ass if I don't say so myself. I picked an add that said "jerk" but man oh man.....talk about putting it lightly!!!!!!
This morning I came in ten minutes late, and my boss was here early (meaning before 7 AM) and he walked up to my desk and was like "Why are you late?" I laughed and said "Because I let Leandro drive this morning...." he then said "Is Leandro the one responsible for getting you to work on time?" I said "He was this morning." He then said "I'm not playing you need to tighten up....I'm serious."
He was so ugly about it. He is such an ass. I understand that I was late, but I still think he was quite rude about it. There is no need to be rude! I think I am a respectable employee. I work over forty hours a week every week. I work six days a week. I never complain about that. I was supposed to get a raise last month for making another year and a yearly evaluation and he didn't mention anything to me about it. I received to evaluation, no raise, no anything but a hard time. I don't understand. It just seems to me that a mere ten minutes late gets so much attention but everything else goes unnoticed. FML!

A Lonesome Cake....

So this blog is about my cake experience. I offered a while back to make a very merry "Happy Birthday Cake for a 5 Year Old." Not just any five year old..........a princess five year old girl LOL. For Korah Boydkin (April and Chad's Daughter.)

This cake experience didn't exactly go as planned. I started the cake Friday night at about 11 PM. I was wide awake and I enjoyed every minute of preparing, baking, and decorating this cake, all with Korah in mind! I finished it up around 3 or 4 AM. I was so excited to give it to her.

I went to bed at around 4 and around 6:30 Timothy woke up hungry. So, I got up and made him a bottle and bathed him and layed him back down. He started to fall back asleep and I was was going to text April to tell her to make sure and bring some Tupperware or Ziploc bags because there was definitely going to be cake left over, but I noticed she already sent me a text asking if I was awake. She said Chad had forgot and bought Korah a birthday cake. This immediately hurt my feelings and pissed me off. I didn't know what to do. I thought....should I still bring mine? Did she see it and not like it? Was it really an accident? Does Korah already have her heart set on the other one?

I dunno maybe I was reading to much into it but it made me angry and hurt my feelings. April went on to text me "bring yours too" talking about bring my cake too....but I thought that much cake would just be absurd and they didn't need two cakes. I was exhausted and aggravated I didn't even want to go but then she made me feel bad by sending me a pic of Korah saying "she's smiling for Aunt Erin." Ugh I hate it when people use their kids on me. I feel like April does that with Korah sometimes, Joanie and Rocky are guilty of it too sometimes.

Well, I spent all that time and all that money on the cake to just let it sit in my fridge or be wasted. I made it for Korah...just for her....with her in mind so I went ahead and brought it up there.

When I got there I was surprised to see that they brought the other cake that Chad had bought for her even though April said they were leaving it at home. They said it was cute but I don't even recall anyone saying thank you. Leandro and I left before they cut the cake because I had a pounding headache.

I was telling my sister at lunch today and she was like "How was the cake was it good" I said I don't know we left before they cut it and no one said anything to me about it. She was like "WHAT!" I dunno, I am not really worried about it anymore. It just sort of hurt my feelings.

All in all I think Korah liked it which really mattered to me and I had fun making it for her, so I guess that's all that really matters in the end. :D

My Timothy.....My Love!!!

Timothy rise and shining at six AM ...... :D
They just couldn't keep their eyes open anymore.......
Timothy is wanting to play at 11:00 PM LOL :D
My little Love :D
Nap time on the way to Longhorn Steak House :D






So this weekend we had a lot going on. The weekend didn't quite turn out as good as I had hoped, but all the time I had with Timothy was wonderful, and if nothing else I am thankful for that! He is so wonderful! I can't wait to have a baby of my own one day! :D

I made a new video of him. He is learning to hold up his bottle by himself now!! He doesn't quite have it down yet but he is working on it! The picture at the top is when he first woke up. He wakes up smiling.....it melts my heart! I love it when he first wakes up...

The Jester

I just watched Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporiums and this was one of the scenes. I thought it was hilarious so I made my own. LOL