1 year ago today I lost my best friend........... it still hurts so very bad at times. I guess the pain of his loss will never really leave me.
The picture above was at Doug's in Port Allen. I look horrible in that picture but Stephen looks so great. He always did though!
I often think about how much I would enjoy going back and doing it all over again. Meeting him....thinking he was a jerk....then realizing he was a jerk that stole my heart LOL. I miss him so bad!
I miss everything about him. I could go on for days about everything that I miss about him. I don't know what to do today..... I guess I am just down in the dumps....... I miss my friend :(
This weekend I am going to pay his resting place a visit and have a Yohoo......... maybe that will give my thoughts a little peace.....hopefully.......
Like the great David Bowie....... I am going through Cha Cha Cha Cha Cha Cha-nges.........!
So what's going on you ask...well let's start off with work, last Friday was Mike's last day, so that sucks :( and this Friday is CJ's last day. That means now I will be working for Kyle Pearson. I don't know why I am going to miss CJ working here so much, I just am. I don't mind working for Kyle though, he's pretty legit LOL. It's just going to be weird without CJ here.
Also, it seems these days I am more focused on living and life than I have been in the past. I still miss Stephen every single day, but I am trying to get back on track and focus on life and all it has to offer.
I am losing weight every week....so that's good! I am trying to get my weight down to what it was before I settled into a desk job. I am going on vacation next month for a whole week, which I am really looking forward too, and me and my mom are talking again.....
It seems like life is good at the moment. I know it's not always perfect so I am just trying to enjoy it while it last!!! Overall, I feel like a lucky girl!!! :)
This is a picture of Leandro and I on our wedding day having our first dance as a married couple to our wedding song "Fly me to the Moon" by Frank Sinatra.
I dreamed of having that as my wedding song ever since I was a tiny little girl. We ever practiced our dance a few nights before the wedding. We had so much fun! :)
I remember my wedding day very well. I stayed the night at my Dad's house the night before. I could hardly eat that night, I was so nervous. I could tell Daddy was proud of me just by the way he looked into my eyes on the morning of my wedding. He could tell I was nervous! He was excited! He gave me a great big hug and said "you ready?" He broke out into a song and dance of "Erin's gettin married....Erin's gettin married....take me to the chapel....cuz I'm gonna get married...." Haha ha ha ha ha He has to be the best Dad ever! LOL
I remember my Dad stressing out at Carter's because they didn't have all the meat cut up and ready like they were supposed too for the jambalaya. While Daddy was waiting to get the meat I bought us both a breakfast sandwich. I scarfed it down I was so hungry! lol
I remember getting to the hall early and looking around at the empty place and trying to imagine what it would look like with all of our family there. I helped with the decorations before it was time to get ready. I was so excited!
I remember they way I walked in my wedding dress with short little kicks so I wouldn't trip. Katy and I always laugh when we think about my Dad.....
Preacher: Who gives this woman away to be married
Dad: Me. John Gremillion
We laugh because Dad said he thought he needed to use his legal name. LOL He did they same thing at Katy's wedding.
I remember the way Leandro looked at me as I walked down the isle, and he hands were all sweaty because he was nervous.
There are so many wonderful things I remember about that day, and a few sad things as well. I really wish my mom would have been there, but I understand. It just makes me mad that I made her a DVD of our wedding and she never even watched it because she said it makes her too sad, and when I showed her pictures of me in the wedding dress, well I had to beg her to look at them, and when she did she said "who's that girl!" I said me :( She didn't even recognize me.
But, I am not letting her run my wedding day or my wedding day memories. My wedding was the best day of my life so far. I miss Stephen. He was the best best man anyone could have ever asked for. He took his role seriously! lol
I miss that day...... and today is a nice little reminder of how blessed I am. I am very thankful for all of the wonderful friends and family I have, and thankful for the wonderful memories and time I had with the ones who are no longer here. But most of all... I am thankful for my husband..... the love of my life......
My grandparents sent me this lovely card to my work today! I thought that was so incredibly sweet! I am going to call them and thank them when I get off of work. I wonder if my mom will call me tomorrow.....?
Leandro and I don't have any plans for tomorrow. We both work. When I get off of work I am going back to Mr. Brain's house to work on his Internet and meet Cox out there. I was going to re schedule for Thursday but Leandro said I might as well go Wed. since we aren't doing anything.
We were supposed to spend all day Sat together celebrating it since we can't do anything on Wed. but then last night Leandro cancelled :(
He said that he had forgotten that he already made plans with Jacob to film a skit on Sat like months ago and other people will be there too so he can't cancel. Man! Talk about hurt my feelings :*( He said "maybe if I get home not too late that night.....would you wanna do something?" I said no. I don't want to get my hopes up for a maybe. It just sucks because I didn't make any plans for Sat. I was so excited...... and now I will just be at home......alone......cleaning house...... :(
So on Sunday Ashlie, Jackson, Katy and me went to the circus. They came to Baton Rouge. We had a grand 'ole time LOL. I was some what impressed and some how disappointed at the same time. I haven't been to the circus since I was like 7 years old, and Katy had never been before. So, since Kaden couldn't make it I thought it would be nice if I treated my sister :) She had a great time! I remember the circus being a lot bigger when I was little, but I guess that was because I was so little. I only went once. I was around seven I think. I remember elephants, lions, horses, monkeys, tigers, ponys, horses, birds, and camels. The one we saw on Sat. was the same company but they didn't have any monkeys, camels, ponys, or tigers. It was still really neat, but it had much more of a modern theme to it. One of the clowns even had an ipod. Overall, we had a great time. :)
Last night Ashlie and I attended the ballet at the Manship theatre in down town Baton Rouge. It was so amazing! It was beautiful!!! I had a blast! Ashlie and I were talking about how much we enjoy attending events at the Manship! It's such a nice theatre! The Playmakers are performing Sleeping Beauty this month there as well and I mentioned it to CJ, and we might try and take all the kids! Sounds like a blast!!!
After the ballet we went over to Schlitz and Giggles and had a couple of laughs, a drink and some pizza (I only ate the toppings because of my diet.)
It was so much fun and I love my girl nights like that! I am so thankful for wonderful friends!!!
A very dear friend of mine is having a really tough time. Her and her husband are talking about divorce. That just breaks my heart! Not only do I love them both and their child.... I hurt for them. I hate to see anyone hurting like I know Divorce hurts people. When my parents got a divorce it hurt my sister and I so very much, not to mention my parents. They hurt for so long after the separation. I hate to see anyone go through this or even talk about it. I am going to do everything in my power to try and be supportive, regardless what the final decision ends up being...... I hope they will work it out.
